what is worth? I lay awake at night and wonder what went wrong, how it all ended after so very long, was it all worth it, the pain we felt was so unreal was it all worth it, for how we feel today. I'm lying here wondering what I can do to make it right, lying here wondering if it's worth the fight is it all worth it, the love I lost but still I'm alive is it all worth it, when I know I'll survive. I was there for a little while, I know I can't be here forever, things have moved on but still you won't stay was it all worth it, the pain we fought, the strain we feel was it all worth it, was it such a big deal.

leaves The darkening sky - Autumn again Leaves flowing down the river Melancholy breeze lazily sighs, And floats over the trees The Glowing summer far away Leaves me in the twilight Of Autumnal days, in all their ways Of shining red and gold ------ Holding you in Summers glow Smiling skies of blue Autumn comes to quell the flame Leaves only a memory of you ------ A dream of truth, of Summer nights Laying in fields of green Leaves me like a troubled shade of pastures known but never seen ------ Holding you in Summers glow Smiling in skies of Blue Autumn comes to quell the flame Leaving memories of youth ------ A Splash Of Red The World Fade Dying Here After My Masquerade The Sounds Are Muted The Darkness Unfolds Leaves Visions Of Leaves In Blacks Reds and Golds ------ A Dream of youth, those Summer nights Rolling in fields, so green Winter comes, the leaves are gone But you and I, still seen ------

Walking back to happiness And I long for you to be here, and make it right, And I wait for you to help me end this fight. And I see that you can stop this before I fall, And I know that you can help now, end it all. And I watch and wait and wonder what went wrong, And I feel and it hurts me, hurts so strong. And I want and I pray for this to end, And it takes all my energy to comprehend. It hurts, it hurts I can do no more I need to get out, find myself Walk until I can't feel it Walk until I can't feel it Anymore And it pains me to laugh now, or watch you cry, And it hurts me to leave you, to say goodbye. And it kills me a little more every time And it hurts and it hurts, I can't do this And I need to fight And I can't fight And I need to be strong But for how long? It hurts, it hurts I can do no more I need to get out, find myself Walk until I can't feel it Walk until I can't feel it Anymore

There is more to this page, but I haven't written it yet...things will become clear in the fullness of time

All text, images and original music Copyright © Scott van Looy 1988 - 1999 unless otherwise stated. All rights reserved.